6 Tips for Getting Over a Break-up

Keisha Ravenell | 23 October, 2021

            6 Tips for Getting Over a Break-up

We've all been there...sad, distraught, maybe even depressed over that person we thought was our forever person. But then boom...the break-up, the reminder that everything is temporary.

I was in an on again-off again relationship for 12 years. We were engaged for a little over a year and decided to call it quits. The relationship no longer served us and being together was doing more harm than good. So ultimately the best thing to do was to leave. Although the break-up was the best thing for me that didn't make it any less difficult and I knew I had to put things in place to help me heal. 

Here are 6 tips for getting over a break-up.

1. Date Yourself- you are not the same person you were before your relationship. You have grown, you have had more life experiences. It is important to learn who you are again. As a newly single woman what are some of your likes and dislikes? Additionally, dating yourself allows you to spend time with yourself and remember how dope you are. Alone doesn't always mean lonely. 

Think about the perfect date and then treat yourself. Maybe there's a restaurant you've always wanted to try, GO! Or maybe there's a movie you want to see, purchase your ticket, buy some snacks and treat yourself to a movie date. Whether it is a picnic in the park, Broadway show, or a stroll on the beach, date yourself.

2. Break-up with Break-up Songs- If you are anything like me you love RnB and when you've just broken up with someone you go straight for the sad love songs *Queue Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You*.

But I encourage you to breakup with the sad love songs and listen to songs that make you feel empowered and confident. Here are a few of my favorite confidence songs:

  • Just Fine by Mary J. Blige
  • Brand New Me by Alicia Keys
  • Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys
  • Formation by Beyonce
  • Irreplaceable by Beyonce
  • Bad Girl by Usher
  • Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield
  • Nice for What by Drake

Check out my Confidence Playlist on Spotify.

3. Surround Yourself with People that Love You- I can't stress how important a support system is. When I was going through my break-up my loved ones were there every step of the way. My mom, my family, and friends would always check on me, call me, take me out etc. I am forever grateful. 

I remember one night me and my best friend went to a restaurant in Harlem, NY and I was feeling down about not having my ring. She told me "eff a ring, it's not important" and then she took off her wedding ring to stand in solidarity with me. I will never forget that moment. With that said, surround yourself with people that will hold you down. Even if it's just one person. Allow good people to lift you up. 

4. Get Counseling- I absolutely love my therapist. I encourage everyone to go to therapy (experiencing a break-up or not). A therapist can help you work through this difficult time by providing tools, resources, and advice. Getting expert advice from an unbiased source can be extremely helpful. It helped me to look inward and reflect on exactly what I wanted for myself and what I wanted and needed from my future partner. 

5. Take the Spiritual Path- Journaling meditating, and praying was a daily task for me shortly after my break-up. Doing these things helps you to dig deep into your subconscious. It also helps you to release unwanted, negative energy and invite positive energy to your life and space. It gives you a deeper connection to self and God. 

6. Get Physical- Last but not least, take care of your body. No, not because you want your ex to see how good you look and how much better you are doing without them (although that may be true lol). Remember you are doing things for YOU. "Revenge body" means your ex still holds power over you and you are not over it. With that being said, get exercise to make yourself feel good. Hit the gym, take a walk or a jog, or if you're like me a dance class. Do a physical activity that is fun for you. 

I hope these six tips help you. In addition to these tips I want you to remember that getting over a break up takes time. Be kind to yourself. Don't stress if you are not over it sooner than you would like to be. Continue to pour into yourself and as times passes so will those feelings. And always remember, YOU ARE ENOUGH!

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